The Jeffrey Chronicles: The Span of an Online Romance: Chapter 2

My Online Dating Experiences

There were other brief dating encounters that did not provide a connection, or to use a word that is entirely overused, there was no "chemistry." I met a retired widower for coffee and although he was fun to talk to and seemed like a genuinely nice man, again, for me there was no spark. He had a difficult time not discussing the virtues of his deceased wife, and although I completely understand that those involved with the loss of a spouse experience a sense of a great loss, it’s not really something that anyone who is looking to date wants to hear too much about. I sympathize with the widows and widowers out there trying to date, it’s not an easy situation to be in. A loss affects each of us differently and sometimes it takes more time than we’d like to recover; unfortunately we can't make the pain go away, we have to endure it until it dissipates.

I also discovered that the photos of some of men I met were quite old, to the point that I barely recognized them when I went to meet them. On one occasion I approached a number of men before I found the one I was to meet. It was embarrassing. Then there were a few men who apparently fell “in love” with me on the first date and although I told them that I was not interested, they had a hard time staying away and not trying to communicate with me until I ultimately, and unfortunately, ended up being quite rude to them, and to this day I occasionally still hear from a couple of men who I want nothing to do with. So, a note to all of you inadvertent stalkers, if your intentions are good and you are doing this because you've fallen in love...you are scaring the hell out of the people that you stalk, and that's never going to turn into love. Stop it!

I learned to watch out for those who believed that a dating site is synonymous with “red-light special,” another infuriating and embarrassing position to find yourself in. I had a date where I met a man for dinner on the east side of Cleveland. We went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner and as we were getting ready to order, I asked him if he was going to have a cocktail (I sure wanted one). He replied: “Nope, I had a drink at home.” nor did he say “you go ahead if you like.” (Please note: I always offer to pay either half or the entire check.) I know that this sounds trivial and petty, but all of these things make an impression on the people we are attempting to get to know and impress. After dinner he asked if I was interested in going to play pool. I thought sure, that would be fun. He forgot to mention that we would NOT be going to a local bar with a pool table, but rather to his home. That became yet another uncomfortable situation for me.

Then there was a man who I went through the “stages” of communication, on a particular dating site. Finally, we got to the “open communication” stage. He was very good-looking man, a business owner, and seemed to have many of the qualities that I was looking for. When we got to the open communication stage we exchanged phone numbers. He called me within a day or two and we had our first phone conversation. During this conversation he told me that he was looking for a dominatrix . . . in vivid detail! I told him that I was not the girl for him and he should possibly keep that surprise for a second or third date with a woman. But, at least he was honest about what he wanted and did not waste his time or mine. We continued to stay in touch for a couple of months. Aside from initially scaring me with his unique sexual requests, he was a very interesting man and I liked him a good deal. It's very likely that I would have gone out with him, had he not sprung the dominatrix info on me at the get go.

I finally developed a short mental dating checklist, a few loose “guidelines” for myself as I proceeded with my search for Mr. Right.

• Anyone who tried to put their tongue in my mouth on the first date was out (show a little restraint please)

• Anyone who tried to touch me inappropriately—definitely OUT

• Anyone who wanted me to touch them inappropriately— definitely OUT

I realize that there could be exceptions to these rules, but I never found someone with whom there was that desire for me until I found Jeff --or-- I should say until Jeff found me.

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More tomorrow…

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All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

"The Jeffrey Chronicles: The Span of an Online Romance" is available in hardcover, paperback and as an ebook (Kindle, etc.).

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